Note/edit: I wrote the first part of this post in a pretty bad mood. When I came back an re-read it I almost deleted it and started over. But as the song at the end of the post mentions I figured you might as well see some of the real me. My attitude is back in perspective,well, at least for the moment.
Restless. That's the best way to describe how I've been feeling. And it's not just a "I need to keep busy and do something restless". It's more of an internal restlessness. I feel like a crabby little kid or a moody teenager who just wants it their way and keeps complaining and asking questions. I want to know the who, what, where, when, why and how of my life and I'm having a hard time being patient about it. I'm being selfish thinking about what I want instead of being thankful for what I have. I'm focusing on my life and what's next for me instead of using my time to help others. I see this in myself and I hate it. I'm frustrated that I keep repeating this pattern and I'm restless for change. Dwelling on this only keeps me stuck here.