Mindful Monday: On Monday's I'm going to share what's been on my mind. I by no means have any of this figured out, I'm just thinking out loud here.
I woke up at 3:05 A.M. Saturday morning. On purpose. Actually, I woke up several times before that thinking I had missed my alarm and overslept- only to find out my ears and alarm were indeed still working, and I really was supposed to be asleep. Rats, don't you hate it when that happens? I mean, it's great that you're not late and can go back to sleep, but if you're going to keep waking up it kind of defeats the purpose of sleeping. Annnnyway, I got up to drive my mom to the airport.
I am not a morning person. At all. As in, don't even think about talking to me first thing in the morning. I need time to wake up. It's pointless to ask me any questions after my first waking moments (err, hour?). You likely won't get much of any response to anything, even if it's just a "good-morning" without a question attached. I will try to acknowledge your existence, but that's it, sorry.
While it was technically 3 in the morning, it still felt like night to me. I've become more of a night owl lately so I didn't feel all that tired. I bet my mom has never heard such lively conversation cross my lips so soon after waking. We had a nice chat on the way up to the airport and then it was me, coffee and the radio for the next hour and a half. There really isn't anything good on the radio at that time night, morning, whatever. I usually get super sleepy while driving, but I was hardly tired. While I had no trouble staying awake, I wasn't exactly thinking deeply profound thoughts either. I did, however, make one life observation relating to driving in the dark.
I've never liked driving in the dark. The glare of headlights, not being able to see very far ahead, no view of your surroundings, decreased visibility, it's just not my thing. Everything seems so unfamiliar in the dark. The darkness swoops in and covers all sense of security, tucking its shadows around every object. The shadows dance, causing your mind to wonder what's lurking around every corner. Okay, not so much on those last parts if your driving, but you get the idea. Anyway, I'm generally more tense when driving in the dark. The road construction on this stretch of highway didn't help matters any. Apparently, bright reflecting orange cones and cement barriers make me feel a bit claustrophobic. I tend to picture myself in those video games where you hit the objects for points (or lose points), yeah not so fun.
I think what makes me tense is the fact that I can't see what's ahead. It's that fear of the unknown again. The road could suddenly veer off, something could run out in front of my car, I don't know (that's the problem). Headlights only let you see just far enough ahead to keep you safe. Kind of like life. I want to know my whole path; where I'll work and live, who I'll be with, important milestones along the way, etc. But I can only see just so far ahead. Sometimes the road is familiar or we have a destination in mind. At other times it's a brand new road with all sorts of twists and turns, bumps and hills and sharp corners to break up long, straight stretches of road.
When the road is dark and unfamiliar I don't have to fear the unknown. God's word acts as a light to my path, giving me direction and perspective amidst the twists, turns and road-bumps of life. These virtual headlights allow me to see the road just in front of me but don't reveal the details of the entire path. Even with headlights I can feel on-edge while driving through the dark unknown. Thankfully, I can let God take the drivers seat. He knows every twist, turn and corner of the road ahead. He carefully planned and built the road for me so he certainly knows how to navigate the details along the way. Rather than fear the unknown of what lies ahead, I can let him drive, knowing all will be well. Without such a tight grasp on the wheel, a perspective of excitement and anticipation takes over. I can't see beyond the reach of the headlights and I don't know what's around the next corner, but I can choose to enjoy the road trip and have amazing conversations with the driver.
Food for Thought: "Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path." -Psalm 119:105